Finny and Connor

Hello my lil precious. This blog was dedicated to you but just so u know.. u had a naughty lil brother now. Remember at this current date, day and time.... U bully him all the time. You tried carrying him but fail and drop him on the floor instead.. I dunno what to say precious. U are trying to be nice kor kor and all but.. everything just backfired. Haha.

To my lil finny, ur kor kor loves u so. I think. Haha. He fed you mamee snack... He share his biscuit with you... sometimes... Though he's the one who eat away all your baby bites. 

Poor finny is having a bad cough now.. he cough during his sleep. So nobody get much sleep nowadays.. and there's a Wuhan virus going on. No more going out this period of time! Rather be safe than sorry. 

I love you both so much. U guys just keep doing the things you do. I.e. Connor wrecking havoc, finny crying all the time due to Connor wrecking havoc, dada piak ur palm due to finny crying because of you wrecking havoc. Ok whatever. Love you all the same or more. 

My con man. My precious little con man. U r my everything. U are a big kor kor now. Though only 4. U have another responsibility now. Protect your Didi at all cost! Help him learn, help him grow into a better person, teach him all the good stuff. I hope u guys be the best partner in everything, best friend forever, best brothers in arm and love each other deeply.

My finny man. My smelly lil precious saliva finny man. U are one years old now. U stick to me all the time. Everywhere I go, kitchen, toilet wherever, u name it. U be there pulling my pants crying asking for baobao. U cute Lil thing. I pray ur coughing goes away fast and never come back. U can always pass to mummy. I will carry all the shit u give me. Haha. Recently on the 24 December, you been abuse by ur childcare teacher. She's a malay wearing tedung. (Symbolise peace or smthing) ah well apparently not. The school shows us the video of the incident and we get a shock of our life. Me and ur dada. It was violent. I didn't know u have to go through all this.. it's really sad someone in this world would actually lay their hands on a one year old cute Lil thing like u. We all learnt something from this, my precious... Police report had been made. She's gonna go jail soon. Justice is served! I m sorry my lil finny... I suppose to protect you.. please forgive me. This won't happen again.. not to you or your naughty brother. 

Love you both so much. So so much

I love you Connor

Hi Connor. This period it's been rotation of sickness between you and Finn (occasionally your mum and me). It's a virus known as RSV.

Anyways I didn't come here to talk about that. I came to tell you that I love you. Just that these days you must feel confused. Daddy alternates between showers of love and bouts of strictness.

I have a thinking. Love doesn't just mean toys and fun and games. Sometimes love is tough, because educating and equipping you with the discipline to become a respectful and respectable man, might be a greater love.

Because while Mummy and daddy will love you no matter what, later in life you'll meet people who have no in-built reasons to love you. And they will judge you to see if you're worthy of their love and care. And some of these people, you might care about their opinions of you.

And since you'll likely become a daddy yourself one day (well, it's a choice after all), I'll leave you with this advice. As a father, it is not your job to be well-liked. Sure it's nice and all, but your job is not that. Instead, your job is to educate and instill values as best as you can.

Daddy doesn't know how long he'll be around. I hope to live and see you find your own happiness, but life is unpredictable. So perhaps I'll write more often. Perhaps.

A new challenger appears!

Hello con, these days you've been acting differently. I think it's due to the arrival of your brother and both of us having a lot of attention and time and effort sucked into taking care of him. I am sure you will eventually understand, but really, at your age, it is understandable that you do not.

Just know that, we love you the same as before, if not more. If anything, I've tried to increase shows of affections with you. Bear with it OK? Before you know it you'll have a lifelong accomplice and ally, bonded by the red blood of life.

Scary day.

Hello precious.. mummy gonna go for c sec operation in 3 hours time. I am scared. So scared. Cause what if I died. My precious Connor gonna be without a mum. I love you precious. Ur dad sucks. Just had a quarrel with him. Can't even let me operate in peace. I don't need him anyways. I love you Connor. If anything were to happen... please.. I wish u happy always. My precious.. u r so precious to me.. u r my everything. I really love you. God bless me. I wanna take care of my con until he's eighty. Please.

Precious

Baby. My baby con. U are three years old now. Its 5.30am... u just cried in your sleep because I am not around. Went out to play game... the moment u cry I come in already. And now u r happily hugging me. And me, happily hugging u. I love u Connor. Watching your video.. u celebrating your birthday.. u dancing, you singing, you playing, Everythinf about you, makes me feel lIke crying. I love u so much even though u r just beside me. I can't afford to lose u. Just thinking about u growing up, falling in love, moving out of house and maybe forget about me... makes my heart ache so much. I dun know how long I am gonna live for.. I only know I dun wan to die. I wanna be with you. Until the day u forget about me. Why r u so precious to me. My love for u is overflowing. I love you so much. Its tiring because every second of my life I am worrying about losing you. When its raining, I am worried that u might be crying at school because u r scare of thunder. When u get bitten by mosquito I am worried because u got sensitive skin. When we go out I am worried because u always run around or run away, exploring the place without waiting for me. What if someone took u away... OMG I can't continue living my life without you. At the end of the day all the worrying is worth it. Though it makes me age faster. Everytime when... I am sad. Feel like crying because me, ur mum is emotionally weak... looking at ur pictures... make me happy again. My precious connor.. I love u.

So many photos!!!

Hi baby Connor~

You're not so baby anymore. But not really grown either. Kinda, you're super heavy but really still a baby in my eyes haha.

Anyways, you're still calling me "dada", so, dada has been uploading pictures of you into google photos from our dropbox. AND THERE IS HELL LOTSSSS.

Oh, and dada is really wanting to buy you a ride on car. But you're the terror who destroys toys with but a glance. Hmmm.

I cant live without you.

Baby. Baby. Baby Connor. U r now officially horrible three!! Congrats. They said when all babies turned two years old they are called the terrible two. The age where they run jump climb scream shout. And yes you did all of these.. and now u turned three. It's call the horrible three. Whatever it is.. my love for u... Still. Overflowing. U r sleeping over at my dad place tonight. I started to imagine wild stuff. U being hurt and stuff. I can't take it. My heart hurts so much. I wanna hug u. I wanna Sayang ur little botak head. Wanna kiss ur lil smelly feet. I miss u so much. I am smelling your bolster and pillow now. Connor I can't live on without you. Typing all this stuff makes me feel like crying. I always wonder what happen when u get older. Will u abandon me. Will u break my heart. Will u be so rebellious u started whacking ur own mum. Cause that's what happen to my aunt. Her Beloved son pushes her intentionally over his gf. And the son doesn't know. But his mum always worried for him always mention him always protects him. She loved him so much. How do u think she feel when he chooses to hurt her over some girl.

My precious. Just to let you know. Whatever happen in the future, I love you. I am willingly to give up my life for you. But I dun wan to die to other stuff. I wanna watch you grow. I wanna protect you. I wanna be there for u. Cause I am ur wowwie. My cute little precious baby. I love u forever. U r so precious to me.

3 years old Con

Hello little precious Mon. I love you. Soso much. U r turning three years old soon in a few days. U been talking well. As in ur speech. U talked so much. All the chim words. Awesome surprise amazing. All learn from cartoon. I never stopped loving u for a second ever since u were born con. Why do I feel like I can't live on without you. Every few second apart from you feels like guilt. Makes me acknowledge the facts that I love to be around you even though u threw millions of balls on the floor u scream u shout u dirty the floor everywhere u go. U r a handful..and yet.. I love every second doing things for you. U r the love of my life precious. I am six month preggie. My back hurts like fuck tard now. Oops. I wanna carry u more before u get heavier and heavier til I can't carry or u rejected to be carry by me anymore. Ive never love someone so deep in my life ever not even ur dada. I gonna smell ur little prickyhead now. My precious little thing. Love u so much. Ir

Ur wowwie. That's what u been calling me nowadays.mummy wowwie. No idea what it means. But I love it anyway. Might be some baby vulgarities.

Connor staycation at GongGong house

Hello my lil monster.

u are not home tonight.

its like the 3rd time u sleep over at gong gong house. which is my dad.

remember he is someone that you love alot at this current age and time.

cant stop u from loving him though, he's patience, he's nice, he loves you,

he buy you toy. he dotes on you. he doesnt allow grandma or anyone to even

beat you. he spoils you. i love my dad connor. hes the best father in this whole world. i know you love him too. 

Anyways, its been a while since your dada and i play game throughout the whole night. haha we used to be free like a bird, 5am hungry, drive out to eat noodle.

random saturday feel like going batam, den we just go. for 3 day 2 night.

everything is so random last time. now is like ohhh, 10pm connor need to sleep.

if not he wont be able to wake up for school tomorrow.

haha. i miss you my lil monster. not sleeping with you.. makes me feel weird somehow. no more lil feet feet in my face. punches. and stuff.. my connor. i am so hugging your smelly lil bolster to sleep tonight. 

Loving You

Hello my little chou chou.

chou baby!!

i love you so much. 

There's good news and bad news.

good news is, I am preggie now. hopefully its a girl.

she gonna be ur companion, partner in crime and everything u do 

she be there! bad news is, i cant bring u out alone to play as much as last time.

used to be able to solo u. its always just me and u. dada work, i bring u go indoor playground. we go eat, we cycle around, we go seesaw behind ur school.

i love u so much my little baby boss.

these few days u been getting more and more.. i wouldnt call it naughty.

just curious. everywhere u go, u just get hyper active and run anywhere u like, i cant chase u anymore. u r awake now. its 5.01. omg

i love u