Hi Connor,
I need to record something that really hit me a few weeks back.
I will protect you.
Crazy things you do to me, Connor. You might not understand the feeling till you've got a lil one of your own, but when you understand it, you'll see why I call it overpowering.
You see, your dad has (had?) a philosophy, that to play the game of life well, one has got to play it like he's got nothing to lose. The basics of it is to prepare for the eventual loss of anything, anyone in your life at any time. In even simpler terms, it means to put a finite value on even oneself's life in the equation, instead of attaching too much emotions on anything.
...OK it didn't sound so simple after all.
But anyways, you've wreaked havoc on that philosophy ever since you're born, and you're wreaking more havoc as time grows, and you grow, and my love for you grow. Suddenly I've got something I cannot lose. And no prizes for guessing, its you. And along with it a whole string of other things suddenly grow to "unthinkable losses". Your mum, who've threatened break up with me about a million times, is essential for your well-being, both physical and emotional. My job, which I hate, is essential for bringing in the money to keep you alive and hopefully happy. And, even myself and my life, which I have always seen as a burden, is now the only gateway to me being able to experience seeing you every day.
And talking about that, you've became a pure, uncorrupted source of joy in my life. There's nothing you could do that can be wrong (though little man, your shit stinks to high heavens, I mean, aren't you a baby? Why does your shit stink worse than mine?), and nothing diminishes my love for you. I could just about get through the entire day because I know I get to see you at the end of it (cue envious feelings, as your mum gets 24/7 coverage). And I swear, nothing lights up the gloom and doom of any day more than a picture of you from your mum.
Gotta go, gotta clock out and go and see my little baby!
