3 years old Con

Hello little precious Mon. I love you. Soso much. U r turning three years old soon in a few days. U been talking well. As in ur speech. U talked so much. All the chim words. Awesome surprise amazing. All learn from cartoon. I never stopped loving u for a second ever since u were born con. Why do I feel like I can't live on without you. Every few second apart from you feels like guilt. Makes me acknowledge the facts that I love to be around you even though u threw millions of balls on the floor u scream u shout u dirty the floor everywhere u go. U r a handful..and yet.. I love every second doing things for you. U r the love of my life precious. I am six month preggie. My back hurts like fuck tard now. Oops. I wanna carry u more before u get heavier and heavier til I can't carry or u rejected to be carry by me anymore. Ive never love someone so deep in my life ever not even ur dada. I gonna smell ur little prickyhead now. My precious little thing. Love u so much. Ir

Ur wowwie. That's what u been calling me nowadays.mummy wowwie. No idea what it means. But I love it anyway. Might be some baby vulgarities.

Connor staycation at GongGong house

Hello my lil monster.

u are not home tonight.

its like the 3rd time u sleep over at gong gong house. which is my dad.

remember he is someone that you love alot at this current age and time.

cant stop u from loving him though, he's patience, he's nice, he loves you,

he buy you toy. he dotes on you. he doesnt allow grandma or anyone to even

beat you. he spoils you. i love my dad connor. hes the best father in this whole world. i know you love him too. 

Anyways, its been a while since your dada and i play game throughout the whole night. haha we used to be free like a bird, 5am hungry, drive out to eat noodle.

random saturday feel like going batam, den we just go. for 3 day 2 night.

everything is so random last time. now is like ohhh, 10pm connor need to sleep.

if not he wont be able to wake up for school tomorrow.

haha. i miss you my lil monster. not sleeping with you.. makes me feel weird somehow. no more lil feet feet in my face. punches. and stuff.. my connor. i am so hugging your smelly lil bolster to sleep tonight. 

Loving You

Hello my little chou chou.

chou baby!!

i love you so much. 

There's good news and bad news.

good news is, I am preggie now. hopefully its a girl.

she gonna be ur companion, partner in crime and everything u do 

she be there! bad news is, i cant bring u out alone to play as much as last time.

used to be able to solo u. its always just me and u. dada work, i bring u go indoor playground. we go eat, we cycle around, we go seesaw behind ur school.

i love u so much my little baby boss.

these few days u been getting more and more.. i wouldnt call it naughty.

just curious. everywhere u go, u just get hyper active and run anywhere u like, i cant chase u anymore. u r awake now. its 5.01. omg

i love u

Naughty Con

Hello precious little monster.

you are asleep!!! 

its been so long since i last complain about you.

my precious precious little thing.

as you grow older, i just seems to love you more.

ur breath get more and more smelly. 

but i kiss you more and more often.

u refuses to brush teeth.. connor.

u eat toothpaste all the time. cause its vanilla flavour.

i must remember to buy the toothpaste flavour my baby con like.

ur feet get stinky after u went out.

maybe because u started all the running jumping walking.

i still kiss them everyday. those little feet are just warming up. 

still got a long long long way for those little feet to go.

must massage them everyday. cause my baby con jump til tired.

those hands, horrible smell.

hahaha fish tank water, dig nose, saliva.

i seems to love them more and more.

those hand that push dada away when we act "dada beat mama"

connor will say no!! and push dada away. 

those hand that caress my face when i fake cry. hee

u sleep like an angel. ur so angel looking.

i love u baby con. 

this world is so harsh. when u grow up.. all u do is study, study, study

and after that all u do is work work work work.

i hope.. theres a better way for you. i just want you to be happy.

like just =D every single day.

u growing up so fast. seems like yesterday they C-section me trying to dig you out of my womb. whatever shit i have to go through to just be by urside 

i m willingly.

Mama loves you. 

Little smelly feet con.

I hope you love me too. =D

TERRIBLE 2

Hello baby Connor. Your birthday was yesterday!

Its been so long since Mama last blog.

I wanted to say... u r the world most precious little thing.

U r the Cutest, Sweetest, Smelliest, Sexiest, Smartest Baby on All PLANET!

i love you baby con.

u r sleeping right now. with ur arm up. airing your armpit. like always.

I WANNA SMELL ur armpit!!! MUACKS

my precious baby con. 

Connor drinks milk!!

Let's watch some of dada mama cartoons from Disney when you're older!!

Connor drinks milk!!

Let's watch some of dada mama cartoons from Disney when you're older!!

Connor BABY!!!

Hello precious. We have moved  into our new home for 3 months now. U seems to be getting used to it now. U have a whole room of toys to yourself. Which... Sometimes u will push dada or me in, so we could play with you. Time is so precious.. I have only this much time in 1 day. And I need to work need to cook and you keep wanting us to play with you for like 247. Sometimes I wanna make some pastry.. So I just left u with ur dada. But then ur dada also want to have some of his own time. So sometimes  u ended up playing alone. I feel so guilty sometimes. I am sorry my baby boy. I love you more and more each day. I will play with you more okay?? Ur feet is on my face right now. I ma kiss them lil feet.. I love you  Connor. Dun u ever forget that..

To be needed without replacements

Hi Connor,

Das thought about this a few days ago, when you just woke up for school, and obviously just want to stay home. Dad had little choice but to bring you there though. Mom and dad gotta work to bring home the dough.

But it got me thinking, about certain frustrations I've been having and why.

When you grow up, perhaps you will learn of this world too. it is a cynical, cynical world. And one where every team leader, every boss will say no one is irreplaceable. One gets used to it. I got used to it.

But your world, as I am coming to know more of each day, works on different rules. And some things, are just not replaceable to you. Your mom is one, and I am another.

It is a great honor, and one that I should appreciate from the start. But I didn't.

Well, because though it is extremely unflattering to be easily replaceable, and to not be uniquely essential, it does offer certain benefits and conveniences. For one, it means that I can take a rest, and I can do other stuff without the world collapsing.

So when for once in my life I am irreplaceable, I found it frustrating. Why can't I take a break? Why can't you just play with yourself? Why do you come running after me mere seconds of me moving away to do something else?

As I was hugging you on that Tuesday morning, you in your school uniform, me in my work clothes, I realised that I have became so desensitized to being unimportant, that when I finally became a VIP to someone, I instinctively reject it instead of embracing it. Crude comparison, I became so used to being given shit that I became angry when someone showed up with cake.

In a world when instead of being seen as me, I am seen only by my abilities and attributes, as replaceable parts of machines, I have became more foolish than I ought to be. To detest being put in such an important role in your life.

I have wasted 19 months and 3 days being foolish. It is time to reclaim some of my wisdom. It is time to relish being seen as a human again, as uniquely me. Time to love you.

Regards,
Dad, a.k.a. Dada

Our new home!

Much belated... It's been almost a month since we moved into our new home after all.

And CONNOR! STOP OPENING THE DRAWERS AND THROWING EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE!!!

Yup yup, that about sums up our new life. Mine definitely, since nowadays I have began picking you up from school. And those hours between the delight of seeing you after a long day's work and the relief of seeing your mum after hours of running after you clearing up the mess you make...

It's like a rollercoaster, an emotional rollercoaster. Swinging from being driven to being red with madness, to being melted inside out by your preciousness.

Each moment, each bit of emotion, is going to be the treasure I bring with me to my next life, when the time comes. And treasures they are, and you are my biggest treasure of all, the treasure generator!

Mwarkx!